Sunflower girl, I’m not going to tell you about this post, but I hope you stumble upon it all the same.
The sentiments I hold resemble yours uncannily. In my own way, I’ve been waiting 6 years to be free. Now that time seems so close, and I’m desperate not to let the chance slip out of my hands.
Graduating from primary school, when I had to write what I’d be doing in 10 years’ time for our class of ’01 yearbook, I wrote “Travelling around the world.” It’s going on 12 years since that time and I haven’t travelled nearly as much as I would have liked to. I still feel held back. For 6 years now there’s been the constant pressure of university. First essays, reports, and exams. Then thesis, thesis, thesis. These years have been a blur and sometimes I can hardly distinguish one year from another. And all along there has been the constant feeling that I was still a little girl, still not ready to go out into the world and grow up.
Now, I feel the time to grow up has drawn closer than ever. To grow up and be free.
You’re still in my thoughts and prayers, and I want you to know I have faith in you as a valid human being.
Soon, you, too, will be free.
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June 4, 2013 at 12:30 am
blueysquared
I think I’m just as scared as you, feeling like you’re really just a bigger version of your childhood self. And I think it can be scarier thinking that you’re actually an adult, that it’s time to go out and do the things you imagined you would.
I’m so proud of you for getting through your thesis, I know how much effort and frustration and hair pulling went into it. I can’t wait to hear all about the adventures you embark upon next 🙂